Happy Meat To Heart
by Moonlight Bomber
Summary: To Heart and Cow and Chicken crossover. Hiroyuki and co. stumble upon the new school cafeteria and find out the secret. Finished!
1. The Cafeteria

Happy Meat To Heart  
Chapter 1: The Cafeteria  
  
Disclaimer: Cow and Chicken (c) David Feiss, Cartoon Network. To Heart (c) AQUAPLUS, KSS.  
  
"Bah. All mornings are soooo boring. My bed is the only one I can trust," Hiroyuki said as  
he takes a nap in his seat, just before the class starts.  
  
"Hiroyuki, cheer up!" Akari said. "I heard that the school will open its own cafeteria later  
this noon. Wow, I'm excited on what will be served."  
  
Shiho, who stands beside the door of section 2-B, heard Hiroyuki and Akari's conversation.  
She then rushes towards the two, causing Hiroyuki to drop from his seat.   
  
"Good morning! Well, Akari, what you said is true. Plus, the one who'll manage the cafeteria  
is a red, pantless guy."  
  
"Huh? A red, pantless person?" Hiroyuki exclaimed. He then goes back in his seat. "Shiho, it's   
just one of your daydreams. I've never seen such a person before, and that person will never   
exist."   
  
"But I guess we'll check the cafeteria later at lunch to prove it," Akari reacted.  
  
The bell rings, signifying the start of class.  
  
"Gotta go! See you later!" Shiho then left for her classroom.  
  
The class proceeds, with your usual Hiroyuki sleeping.  
  
The teacher notices him. "Hey, wake up, sleepyhead! Answer the question on the board!"  
  
Hiroyuki answered sheepishly, " Why do I have to do this?"  
  
"Shut your pot hole and do it!"  
  
"OK."  
  
The minutes of the class passes by.  
  
Then the bell rings again.  
  
"Whew. Lunch time. I've been waiting for this," Hiroyuki said to himself.  
  
Then the students go out of their classrooms. Hiroyuki, Akari, Shiho, and Masashi get   
together as they approach the cafeteria.  
  
"Hey, Hiroyuki, listen to me," Masashi said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It is rumored that the food to be served at the cafeteria is nothing but ketchup."  
  
"Ketchup?!" Shiho exclaimed. "Why not our favorite meals?"  
  
"Whatever. What's important is that I eat three meals a day," Hiroyuki responded.  
  
"I know the reason why, Hiroyuki," Akari explained. "The manager is red. Ketchup is red.  
Got it?"  
  
And the four finally arrived at the cafeteria. They see a long queue of people towards the   
counter.  
  
"What's the name of the manager, you say?" Hiroyuki asked.  
  
"I think it's Ms. Bear-Derriere," Shiho answered.  
  
"What a strange name," Masashi reacted.  
  
Let's see the situation at the counter.  
  
"Good afternoon, students!" Ms. Bear-Derriere (a. k. a. The Red Guy) said to the students   
through her speakerphone. "We have a great selection of meals for you at affordable prices.   
First, we have rice topped with ketchup! Or sushi a la ketchup! Oh, how about ketchupy fish   
balls? And, for dessert, it's frozen ketchup on cones!"  
  
"Duh. Those meals are monotonous," Shiho reacted. "Marvel Burger is MUCH better."  
  
"What did you say, lady?" Ms. Bear-Derriere angrily reacted at Shiho.  
  
"Marvel Burger IS MUCH BETTER!"  
  
"That's it! No food for you today! And for those who share their food with her, you will  
suffer the same punishment! That's because the school principal decreed that no one should  
eat outside during classes! Now go!"  
  
"We feel sorry for you, Shiho," Akari sympathized.  
  
"Me too," Masashi said.  
  
"Me three," Hiroyuki said.  
  
"Hey you three dimwits! Sympathizing is the same as sharing! No food for you either!" Ms. Bear-  
Derriere shouted.  
  
Will our four friends suffer hunger? Find out.  
  
(end of chapter) 


	2. The Solution

Happy Meat To Heart  
Chapter 2: The Solution  
  
"Now look at our consequence. We'll suffer some days of no food in school," Hiroyuki worried.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll think of a solution," Shiho added.  
  
Suddenly an image of a cow and a chicken appear right before the four's eyes.  
  
"Hello, students!" Cow and Chicken greeted.  
  
"Who are you guys?" the four questioned.  
  
"We are Cow and Chicken," Cow answered.  
  
"We heard that youse suffered the same problem as ours," Chicken explained. "We're forced to  
eat ketchup an'..."  
  
"I know. I got the picture," Hiroyuki interrupted.  
  
"We felt that we need to get to your school as soon as possible," Cow explained. "And set  
something up to bring the students out of their food miseries."  
  
Masashi asked, "What's the solution?"  
  
"Cow and Chicken's Happy Meat," Chicken answered. "Designed to make students happy an'  
to put that ketchup service outta business."  
  
Shiho interrupted, "Do we need to convince the..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, convincin' 'em's a snap. Just set up a stall, call the students, and voila!"  
Chicken said.  
  
"Yeah! Now we'll put the students out of their food miseries!" Akari said with joy.  
  
"See ya tomorrow, students!" Cow and Chicken bade them goodbye, and vanished.  
  
And the gameplan is set for tomorrow.  
  
The next day...  
  
It's lunch time again, and the students have to sucker again into eating ketchup-based food.  
  
But...  
  
"Welcome to Cow and Chicken's Happy Meat  
We're offering you guys special treats  
Pork butts and taters, so many to give  
And more to offer, so that you will liiiiiiivvvvvveeee...."  
  
That's Shiho, singing karaoke-style.  
  
Suddenly, the students rush to the stall.  
  
Akari wholeheartedly hands over plates of unique meat dishes, like hotdog balls, "isaw sushi"   
(Isaw is a Filipino snack which is just grilled chicken intestines. Believe me, it's delicious.   
--Author), and Spam burgers loaded with pork butt skin.  
  
And in seconds, the plates are all empty.  
  
The sutdents shouted, "We want more! We want more!"  
  
Hiroyuki and Masashi then brought out a catapult, a big bowl of pork butts, and a big bowl   
of taters. And then the two shouted, "These are pork butts and taters! They'll satisfy you,   
so catch them with your own mouths!"  
  
Akari signalled the two, "Fire!" And the pork butts and taters thrown are all landed in  
the students' mouths. The students ate them with joy.  
  
After a matter of minutes, all of the items are gone. So are the students.  
  
"Whew! Our store's so popular," Shiho remarked.  
  
"But look at our earnings. Only 5,000 yen," Akari worried.  
  
"Not enough for a big feast. So what'll we do?" Hiroyuki said.  
  
"Hey, look over there!" Masashi pointed at Ms. Bear-Derriere. "Looks like she's weeping. Let's  
check it out."  
  
The four approach the weeping Ms. Bear-Derriere. The latter mumbled: "Huhuhuhuhuhuhu....  
I'm a failure! Huhuhuhuhu... Why do the students hate me? I'm no good at running a lousy   
school cafeteria... Huhuhuhu...."  
  
"Ms. Bear-Derriere?" Akari asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sorry for our actions yesterday. It's just that you offer the same kind of food from one   
source: ketchup. And the students are bored with it. Can't you just make other meals?"  
  
"Ah... Now you're saying sorry... In return, I'll give you something." Ms. Bear-Derriere   
then handed over four bowls of ketchup to the four. "The original is always the best."  
  
"Thank you, Ms. Bear-Derriere," said the four. And they eat the ketchup without any complaints.  
  
"Oh, you forgot to pay," the manager said. "Hand me 5,000 yen."  
  
"Ah, now our income's all gone," Shiho muttered. She then handed over the income. "But no   
matter."  
  
"Thank you, Ms. Bear-Derriere," the four bade goodbye.   
  
"Thanks also for reminding me of something," the manager replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Food must be served to make people happy."  
  
Then the bell rings, which means that lunch is over and the afternoon period starts. The four   
rush back to their respective classes.  
  
The holographic images of Cow and Chicken then appear.  
  
Cow said, "Hey, Mr. Red Guy! Why did you appear on this school?"  
  
"Hahaha. The author just placed me, stupid!"  
  
Chicken questioned, "Then why don't ya have some other business?"  
  
"Hahaha. I'm just happy with my job."  
  
Cow and Chicken replied, "Then we'll send someone to KICK YOU OUT!"  
  
Guess who comes out. It's a clone of The Red Guy, disguised as the principal!  
  
The clone said, "According to School Decree No. 8701, you are hereby FIRED from this school!"  
  
Ms. Bear-Derriere angrily talked back, "No! You just can't kick me out!"  
  
And the two Red Guys rumble around the cafeteria mindlessly.  
  
And here is Chicken's final comment:  
  
"Paging Quina Quen, you'll be the next cafeteria manager. An' make sure ya serve food   
TO HEART! END!" 


End file.
